Being Radicalised, Being Human?

By creating a situation where a citizen feels the need to protect and serve a society, due to what the society have given him or her, offer protection and grant different 'life-stocks' that enables him or her to not only survive but live to the fullest, a relation between a government and an individual are created of mutual protection and the wish to establish what might be of the best interest to both parts. This relation might even help a society fight extremism and radicalisation both amongst religious people, however, more so amongst its own people.

Because, let's face it. It is not only Muslim people who have become radicalised. The people, feeling like "these people are invading our country, taking our jobs, destroying our lives", have also become, to some degree radicalised. I believe, when you in the shelter of the anonymity the internet can give you, makes use of this in order to belittle the people that seems different from yourself, despite not knowing them personally, you have become radical in the choice of means to implement your view of the world in a given society.

Let's face it. It is not only because someone believes in Islam that such a person can become radical (which by the way is a very little amount of people actually choosing a radicalised worldview, compared to all the people who every day are harassing other human beings). It can also be you and I, despite religious affiliation.

Maybe it is time to break with the idea that only Muslims are destroying the world as we know it. We are to by the way we treat each other. By the way we refuse to help other people. Our choices makes us wander down the road either towards taking extreme measures or towards showing others that we care.

Change, the unavoidable force coming our way

Life seems to change around me in a speed where I can't keep track. I am finished with studying and is applying for a real grown-up job, friends are changing their social status from in a relationship to married, and other friends are changing from family of two to family with kids.

Sometimes changes seems more visible when a person gets a boyfriend. Gets married. Becomes a mother. All things relating to a relationship with another person. Being single, changes is more of a internal nature - not as visible as when you are two people changing each others lifes to become more compatible with the twosome they are trying to create together. Because no matter how they see their lifes, when one life becomes part of another, people change. I believe that it's supposed to change people. Having two different people trying to make a common foundation for their future life together.

Embracing singleness means embracing and holding on to the changes that are happening in your life, without relation to another human being.

I have a degree now.
I am applying for a job.
I am looking and dreaming of buying my own space.
I am dreaming of becoming an author.
I am planing a travel to The US, on my own.

All life-changing experiences that might not terminate in a lifelong commitment like marriage might symbolise, but still will make a change in me. Once I wore a more boyish stile, now I have a tad more feminine look. Once I had a mother and a father, now I only have a mother. Once I thought I wanted a family: Husband, kids and dog. Now, I honestly just want to live the life I was granted to the fullest. Travel. Meet people. Experience cultures. Things change. We change. I changed!

I guess the goal is not to look at the things I didn't get to experience, but all the experiences I gained and all the experiences that are yet to come!

The difficulties being apart of an "us" as opposed to other groups, "them".

A new radio-program on my favourite radio-station made me wonder whether or not it is really that bad to have created an "us" as opposed to everyone else? When is it actually problematic to have created an in-group, an "us"?

The host often argued against refugees and had a rather narrow minded and sceptical view on people who are of another descent than "pure danish" - people who have mixed their original descent with the Danish culture.

I have always argued against the creation of in-groups, cliques or groups like this. I find that they tend to try to set a standard for the rest to follow, which demeans other people who does not necessarily follow the rules of such a group - back to the school milieu, so to speak. But, the thing is, that we cannot avoid creating an "us". To be Danish is different from being Swedish or Norwegian. We create societies bound together by culture, language, politics, religion and so forth.  No matter how we look at it, the way we collect and unify the different aspects of our society will stand in opposition to other societies and how they have bound the different aspects together.
Once, I was at a wedding, which to me have become the perfect example of this fact. While the groom was of Danish descent, the bride was Muslim. It was a wedding with different cultural elements, where the guests at some aspects did not know what was going on and regarding other aspects were a part of the "club" that knew! These two people getting married, was creating an "us".

To me, the difference is whether a society compares itself with another in a demeaning way. Thus, creating an "us" as opposed to "them". The fact that we have different cultures, comes from different societies, does not mean that we cannot behave and be polite towards one another. It does not mean that we in Denmark cannot help the refugees that flows into the country. It does not mean that we cannot help those people who suffer from war, by help recreating and reconquer their, "us". In the end, everyone deserves to be a part of an "us".

The problem with this constellation is when "us" and "them" becomes "us" versus "them". When different groups compares, there may in some situations be created an unhealthy environment where one group presents itself as superior compared to the other.

Being a fellow citizen is not just about being apart of a group, but accepting the differences between the different groups living in and outside one's society. Being a part of one group is not the problem - we all are apart of specific groups, whether we like it or not. The problem is when one group finds themselves superior towards another group.

Accepted, Loved and Peace

Today looking out the window, watching the movie "Heaven is for Real", and embracing my very real fear of the future I am about to enter into, I came to realise something. Growing up, I always tried to fit in. I tried to be what everyone else wanted me to be, so that I could be popular. Have the cool friends. But every time I tried, every time I failed horribly by feeling even more of a misfit than before. Whenever I tried to be something that I wasn't, I felt even more ridiculed than before. It felt like striving to become someone I wasn't did not have the outcome I wanted. It was only when I embraced me as I am that I could relax and strive. It was only then I felt free.

I remember the instances where an adult, getting to know me looked at me with disbelief and a laughter in their eyes, once they got to see who I was. I don't blame them. If I where them I probably would have done the same thing, looked upon myself the same way. But I don't envy their lives. I wouldn't want to keep placing that amount of pressure on myself as I used to.

I refuse to believe that I have to be what social conventions wants me to. I refuse to believe that I have to follow every social code this world has created to be free. I refuse to believe I have to listen to the right kind of music, see the right kind of movies, go the right kind of places and socialise the right kind of way in order to be me. I learned that people forcing upon me one kind of behaviour isn't worth the fight to convince they should stay friends with me. I am me. And it is not going to change. I am not going to stop watching Disney movies or go to church, just because it doesn't fit into the social code of the world I live in. All I wanted throughout my life was to be accepted. But it was not until I accepted myself, that I found peace.

I am always loved the way I am, with faults and all. So why should I change just because the rest of the world can't see it? Just because they have an idea of how I should be?

As I Walk Through Life

As I walk through life, 

I have loved and been hurt. 

I have burned bridges, 

and sworn I would never return. 

Only to forgive and let go. 

As I walk through life, 

I have found the ones, 

who are dearest to me 

and said goodbye, 

to the friendships that didn’t stick.  

As I walk through life,

I have shared tears and sorrows. 

Pain and suffering. 

I have learned that pain is relative

And not to be measured.

As I walk through life, 

I have hated the image in the mirror, 

Only to make peace with myself

And learned to love, 

Despite faults and failures. 

As I walk through life, 

I have travelled the world

Only to discover, 

that at home is the best 

And the most beautiful of all.