The difficulties being apart of an "us" as opposed to other groups, "them".

A new radio-program on my favourite radio-station made me wonder whether or not it is really that bad to have created an "us" as opposed to everyone else? When is it actually problematic to have created an in-group, an "us"?

The host often argued against refugees and had a rather narrow minded and sceptical view on people who are of another descent than "pure danish" - people who have mixed their original descent with the Danish culture.

I have always argued against the creation of in-groups, cliques or groups like this. I find that they tend to try to set a standard for the rest to follow, which demeans other people who does not necessarily follow the rules of such a group - back to the school milieu, so to speak. But, the thing is, that we cannot avoid creating an "us". To be Danish is different from being Swedish or Norwegian. We create societies bound together by culture, language, politics, religion and so forth.  No matter how we look at it, the way we collect and unify the different aspects of our society will stand in opposition to other societies and how they have bound the different aspects together.
Once, I was at a wedding, which to me have become the perfect example of this fact. While the groom was of Danish descent, the bride was Muslim. It was a wedding with different cultural elements, where the guests at some aspects did not know what was going on and regarding other aspects were a part of the "club" that knew! These two people getting married, was creating an "us".

To me, the difference is whether a society compares itself with another in a demeaning way. Thus, creating an "us" as opposed to "them". The fact that we have different cultures, comes from different societies, does not mean that we cannot behave and be polite towards one another. It does not mean that we in Denmark cannot help the refugees that flows into the country. It does not mean that we cannot help those people who suffer from war, by help recreating and reconquer their, "us". In the end, everyone deserves to be a part of an "us".

The problem with this constellation is when "us" and "them" becomes "us" versus "them". When different groups compares, there may in some situations be created an unhealthy environment where one group presents itself as superior compared to the other.

Being a fellow citizen is not just about being apart of a group, but accepting the differences between the different groups living in and outside one's society. Being a part of one group is not the problem - we all are apart of specific groups, whether we like it or not. The problem is when one group finds themselves superior towards another group.

A 'Schizophrenic' Life

These days the problems concerning the refugees is a sour subject in Denmark. As a Dane I am at one hand more or less embarrassed by the way Denmark is perceived by the outside world. On the other hand I haven't lost faith in the Danes, as I can see how much of a difference the Danish people actually want to do.
       A friend of mine told me about a local initiative where the children of the neighbourhood can come and get help with their homework. She told me that most of the children knew Danish better than their native tongue and thereby, complicating simple communication between the youngsters and their families. Integration seems to be going very well, you may think. But hold on for a moment and try to follow my train of thought.

Carolin Goerzig and Khaled Al-Hashimi touches a very interesting subject in relation to this in their book "Radicalisation in Western Europe: Integration, public discourse, and loss of identity among Muslim communities". In the description of a workshop in the book one subject the book analysis is radicalisation and religion. The respondents of the workshop is seen creating an in- and out-group according to their religious background vs the religious background of the country they live in. A out-group, with all the people with opinions consistent with theirs and an in-group with people they can rely on having the same opinion as themselves. Thereby, an in-group and out-group situation is created concerning the fact that the exterior reality is not consistent with their interior reality - a reality consistent with the cultural and religious worldview in the family of the immigrants versus the outside world with its many different world-views. The framework of Goerzig and Al-Hashimi is the society the immigrants live in versus the family-life the immigrants have. However, what if both the exterior as well as the interior reality is causing young immigrants to distance themselves? A feeling of being marginalised from both the society one lives within and also from ones family? If someone had a feeling of being different within the outer reality as well as what was supposed to be ones inner reality, a reasonable conclusion could be that one would search for a reality or peers within which or with whom one can feel average and like-minded.
        For instance, if a young girl or guy with another ethnical origin than the country he or she lives in. If he or she because of his or hers ethnical origin is labelled by the society as different however is still labelled as different at home because he or she is not capable of communicating fully with his or hers parents because he or she does not fully speak their original language, would that not cause a situation where a young girl or guy would search for like-minded, a substitute family, and therefore, could be exposed to different types of harmless as well as less harmless groups, where they might be exposed to an extremist worldview that might have a great affect on them.
       In Denmark it is almost considered a success if the young women and guys is capable of getting around and communicate in flawless Danish. In fact, in a new special allowance called "integration allowance" an extra amount of money (called "dansktillæg"), 1500 kr, is given to those who pass a danish test in a wish to strengthen the danish skills among the immigrants. However, are we forgetting that this may have a marginalised effect on youngsters who cannot have the same support at home, because they simply cannot communicate with their parents? If my inference is somewhat true, such a small thing as language skills could be one more thing in the range of things that could be of great importance regarding whether or not young women and guys is exposed to extremist ideas and actions. Are we in Denmark so focused on immigrants getting so integrated that it is an assimilation and therefore, makes immigrants alienated from their own families? Families who are supposed to offer guidance and support in a time in the young women and guys lifes that has a lot of mixed feelings that can be confusing and weird. Are we stealing away their safety-net and security with the attempt of integrating these people to our standards instead of considering to implement their ideas and worldviews as well?