The Course of Friendships

As I was trying to explain to a friend of mine how this situation was different in my world view from hers, she concluded that she didn't need to know because, "I know you very well". In my teen-years I would be thrilled of the thought that someone out there in the world knew me well. Normally I would pursue such friendships. Now? Now, I get annoyed and irritated by the very statement. Because, no you don't know me completely as I don't know you completely. Friendships to me is not about knowing someone to the fullest, however, more about accompany each other in life: Get to know each other better, learn more as time and life-events changes who we are. That's what I look forward to in a friendship.
People are not statically staying who they where when we met them. Time doesn't stand still in their lives, just because I'm on the other side of the world. People change. I change. It's the cause of life. I understand that there is something comforting in knowing, that someone I know will stay the same. But I don't find comfort in that anymore. I find comfort in knowing that my friends won't desert me as I change. That my friends will stick around despite my changes.
I believe what really strikes me in this situation is that I don't want to be "put in a box". I don't want to be told who I am anymore. I'm a grown up with a right to be who I am. The term "I know you very well" is just a security blanket. It doesn't assure us that we will stay friends. But if we go together through the stream of life events, through different times, through sorrows, through joy, all things that changes who we are. If we go together, if we accept each other despite the differences we have made - now that is an assurance of friendships. It takes time. It takes patience.
Friendship is like jumping of a cliff together not knowing where we land. Thrilling and disturbing at once.

A Whole New World

As I stepped outside from visiting my doctor, I saw my whole life flash before my eyes. Not in the sense of, good memories of family-gatherings or memories of friends I care about, but of food. My mind ran through all my favorite food I suddenly couldn't eat: Irish coffee, all sorts of bread, whipped cream, candy, chips, Lemon-moon-cake or whatever that cake is called in english. My doctor had proclaimed that I might not suffer from astma, but gluten-intollerance. Apparently my lack of better physics wasn't because I had terrible lungs, however, I had been eating the wrong things all my life. And that's pretty much where she lost me. She might have been given me all sorts of relevant and necessary information, but I didn't hear a thing. I just sat there trying to figure out what on earth I was supposed to eat then? My first thought was that my life has ended. Which was partly right. My life as I knew it had ended. A new one was about to begin. 

What was previously a wish, suddenly became a reality - not by choice, but by force. My body has literally forced me into a healthier lifestyle. I am aware that there are other choices regarding unhealthy food, but I choose to see it as an opportunity to get healthy and change my habits which has been destroying my body and my self-image.